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i'll break my heart (so you don't have to)

by sarya

/

about

For me, queer platonic relationships are just as important as romantic ones, and as someone on the ace spectrum, friendships are the foundation of the love I receive in my life. I'd rather quietly let my crush crackle away in the darkness so that I can let a friendship rise from its ashes, because I know it will last longer than most romantic connections that way.

"i'll break my heart (so you don't have to)" is a song of acknowledgement, acceptance, and moving on, and having enough respect for yourself and your friend so that a deeper and longer-lasting love can develop where infatuation originally was. At the end of the day, I'm just happy to feel anything at all.

lyrics

these days I pretend to not be so bothered by the fact
you are not here

I close my eyes and imagine that I would stand a chance
if you were near

I couldn’t know what I was looking for
before it was gone

I couldn’t know who I was looking for
Before you were gone

it’s nice sometimes to toy around
with an unrequited thing

it’s better to feel sadness and pain
better than nothing

I’m happy to talk to you
and suffer silently

I’m happy to know you
and not expect anything

I’ll break my own heart
so you don’t have to

the attention I’m directing at you
is a manifestation of my boredom
(and a little love)

I couldn’t know what I was looking for
before it was gone

I couldn’t know who I was looking for
Before you were gone

I’ll break my own heart
so you don’t have to

the attention I’m directing at you
is a manifestation of my boredom
(and a little love)

I couldn’t know what I was looking for
before it was gone

I couldn’t know you're who I was looking for
Before you were gone

If I’d known you’re who I was looking for
I would’ve tried to be the one

and now I know that I could’ve
never been the one

credits

released January 19, 2021
music, lyrics, artwork by sarya
mixing and mastering by carlos davey
bassline by callie rose petal

license

all rights reserved

tags

about

sarya Edinburgh, UK

i'm sarya. i make what i like to call "emotronica" and indie folk music.

:3

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