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idk

by sarya

/
1.
idk 06:05
every little decision alters our existence how are we suppose to know what is right and what is wrong anymore every little thing puts me in a state of complete anxiety undeniably i want to leave living is such a chore but i should confess while i lie on the floor i don’t know what i can do, but i know there is more -- every little obsession grows into a cyst of unrealistic expectation why did i even bother to walk out the door what does it mean? what am i even here for? i don’t know what i can do, but i know there is more -- so it goes who knows who knows will we ever change and grow so it goes who knows who knows will i ever regret what i chose? -- every memory cuts me inside a deep hole inside my chest did i already get the best of the best in this short life? is it worth the struggle and the strife? what is stopping me from taking a knife? i don’t what i can do but i know there’s more i don’t what i can do but i know there is more but i know there is so much more
2.
i had the dream again i lied awake in my bed you were there with me sleeping so soundly i took you in my arms like all the times before we talked about nothing i still felt like falling i woke up alone in my family home you were just a dream you were just a dream i long for the day when i no longer have in me the remnants of your love distracting me
3.
kelburn 04:08
can i touch your back? can i touch your hand? can i touch your legs? yeah can i touch your neck? can i touch your legs? can i touch your nose? can i touch your legs? can i touch your lips, with my lips? can we kiss in the night when nobody's is looking kiss in the night we are drowning in goodness kiss in the light when the moon is arriving kiss from the height that we came up this evening we can do anything you can say anything ooo can i touch you back? can i touch your legs? can i touch your neck? can i touch your belly? your hair, your love, your love your love yeah
4.
when the skies are cloudy when the nights are cloudy you should know what to do you should know that i love you when the days are lonely when the hours pass slowly you should know what to do you should know that i love you when the heart is crying when the hope is dying you should know what to do you should know that i love you
5.
the moonlight is my friend she comes when the day ends i ponder no longer alone i just have to look out the window an owl frenzy takes over me turns my mind, 180 degrees and nothing ever is as it seems is a dream ever just a dream? i look up to the stars in the sky to ask them "why?" they reply, by distantly shining i look up and wonder if there is a heaven the clock reminds me it's 5:37 i should probably go to sleep but that's where my fears and fantasies meet. i should try to lie in my bed. but that's when i think of all things said i count some sheep some lilac, some pink i get up to get something to drink i walk around my home, i roam i cannot believe this is the place I've grown realise, my eyes can't open, they're dry and to this fatigue, i must comply i wish i could fly somewhere nice somewhere high but the world will duly suffice somewhere cold as ice filled with spice somewhere where nobody lies to to spite a land where i can be free as the moon and as the trees yes, this is my insomnia song if you know it than sing along

about

"idk" is how i feel about most things, whether that be day-to-day existence or the answers to simple facts. the more i talk to people the more i realise that there's too much we don't know, but the objective is to strive for that gap of knowledge to grow ever smaller. for instance, 3 years ago, i didn't know anything about playing an instrument.

so here, this is an expression of some of my states of existence, and i hope you enjoy them as much as i liked making them. my spoken word into song.

your musical bard,

xx
sarya

credits

released July 20, 2019

recorded and produced with the help of: Cazenove Music and Sound (Tracks 3/4/5), Callum Cummins of North Edinburgh Arts (Track 1), Kevin Carafa (Track 2), and Jimmy Cucchiara (Track 1).

album artwork by Annika Pan and Eben Cossutta.

all music and lyrics by sarya.

this EP would not have been possible without the love of my friends and family. especially you, 媽媽。 this is for you.

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about

sarya Edinburgh, UK

i'm sarya. i make what i like to call "emotronica" and indie folk music.

:3

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